Self Compassion is something I have worked on within myself and with my clients for many years now. This is not an easy area for me as I have been challenging and critical of myself for many years. I was running the other day to get some fresh air and clear my mind on an especially stressful day. Demi Lovato’s song “I Love Me” came on. I literally stopped running as I heard the words and thought she was speaking directly to me.
“Cause I’m a black belt when I’m beating up on myself. But I’m an expert at giving love to somebody else.”
I realized in that moment that I had relapsed and I have been anything but kind to myself during this COVID19 Pandemic. In a time of feeling absolute lack of control, trying to make business decisions and show up for loved ones, clients, and my team, I defaulted back into being very critical of myself. This included, negative self-talk, questioning, and feeling insecure about my actions or things I would say, overall feeling really badly about myself and comparing myself to others. Even writing this right now, I can feel that cringe tightness in my stomach.
As in any negative habit that you are trying to change, you will backslide at times, especially times of significant stress. I’m so grateful I caught it, although I wish it was earlier and without the level of pain it caused me. I can forgive myself and reset. I can remember to be softer to myself and see myself as human and doing the very best I can. I can share this with you from a place of vulnerability because one of the things I know to be true is that I’m not alone in the struggle to find self compassion.
Kristen Neff, Phd is an expert in Self Compassion. She states, “Self-compassion boosts the immune system, it reduces anxiety, and it’s the easiest way to keep our hearts open to others.” I recommend reading her article, “10 Self Compassion Practices for COVID-19”.
So, there is my confession for today. I wasn’t able to write this until I felt whole in my heart about myself again. It’s a practice, I know that. Self Compassion comes from a place of intention, effort, and mindfulness. Ultimately, my hope in sharing this with you today is that we can support each other in being kinder to ourselves. I know that from this place we will also be kinder to others as well.
If this resonates with you, I would love to hear from you (firstname.lastname@example.org).
This Post Written By:
Rachel Thomas, LMFT – Therapy With Heart
8737 E. Via De Commercio, Suite 200
Scottsdale, Arizona 85258
Phone: (480) 888-5380
Fax: (480) 203-2881