It’s become a bit of a joke these days that everyone has trauma. Some people have a hard time believing that is the case, especially when reflecting on combat veterans or children with sexual abuse—in other words, who really has trauma? In a world wrought with unpredictability, violence, broken families, emotionally-manipulative entertainment, and addictive social media, it doesn’t take much...
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Touch is a way of connecting and touch can also convey emotions. In the many ways touch has been researched, we’ve learned that loving touch is necessary to live and thrive. Touch from a loved one can give us feelings of comfort, safety, closeness, and being wanted. Below are 12 ways to engage in touch with a partner or partners....
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Relationships never lie. As much as we might try to hide parts of ourselves in our relationships, it is very unlikely that we will be able to do so successfully. What happens more times than not is that our partner colludes with the hiding where an implicit agreement is made to ensure that neither pushes the other to be...
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My wife and I are recovering helicopter parents. Helicopter parenting is a form of over involvement in a child’s life, taking away the child’s ability to learn coping skills and healthy independence. It is linked to higher anxiety, higher depression, higher substance abuse, and lower coping abilities in the child’s later life. 1 2 Being a parent, and well, living...
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As a parent, I’m always trying to find ways to connect with my teenagers and so I decided to start using the app BeReal with them. BeReal will daily, at any time of day, notify you that it’s time to "be real". When the alert comes on, you capture the photo from both directions on your phone. Typically it's a picture of me and...
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Self-compassion is such a gift we can give ourselves. But what does it mean to be self-compassionate? Compassion means “to suffer together.” When we see someone suffering, we are moved by their suffering and want to alleviate it for them. And yet somehow it continuously feels so challenging, even impossible at times, to turn some of that compassion toward ourselves. ...
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Talking about sex, in movies and television it never seems to happen where couples talk before, during, or after engaging in sexual activities. Even during a first time hook up, the partners on screen seem to already know exactly what to do and give their partner a fantastic orgasm in record time. However, this depiction isn’t reality and often creates...
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What is sex to you? There are many ideas that come to mind when one hears the word sex. Most people may think of intercourse. However, this idea that sex equals intercourse may not fit for everyone and does not encompass all that sex can be. Now for some experiences, sex can absolutely include intercourse and for other experiences intercourse...
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The journey to adulthood is paved with countless moments of childhood. In a child we see innocence, wonder, hope, and unknowing dependency. Oftentimes, in reflecting on our childhood, we find precious memories of meaning coupled with aches of desires unfulfilled for the child we once were. Leo Tolstoy begins his greatest novel Anna Karenina with a stunner line, “All happy...
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Validation from others helps us feel understood and safe. Validating different parts of ourselves – especially the parts we are ashamed of – helps to align our goals and gain self-assuredness. I was out with my toddler son when he became tired and absolutely hangry. He quickly delved into full tantrum mode as he repeated that he wanted to hit....
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