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Finding Balance While Grieving

Grief and Loss

“Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance you must keep moving.” 

-Albert Einstein

When a loved one dies, there seems to be a strange effect on time and energy.  For many days or even months; time appears to slow and energy no longer flows.  A fog settles in.   Everyone else around us seems to be living and moving unaffected.  At such times, taking care of ourselves feels like, “just one more thing I am supposed to do” but have no motivation or energy for.  Instead of self-care, strive for a slow rebalancing to life.

 Picking Up The Pieces

After a loved one’s death, there is so much taken away.  Life can feel shattered and unfamiliar.  While grieving; even our senses play cruel tricks on us; food doesn’t taste the same, the world appears colorless, normal sounds are too loud and even a touch feels dulled.  Rebalancing while grieving is about gently adding back to our lives as we strive to keep moving forward.  Small simple daily goals can make a huge impact.

  • Begin the day with a short but meaningful affirmation: “ I can do this, I am capable” “I am loved and I love others”
  • Breathe deeply for 10 breaths; clear out the stale air in the lungs. This will also help to refresh your thoughts and give you energy
  • Continue to eat; find healthy foods that taste good. It is Ok to treat yourself with desert or something special.
  • Take hidden moments for yourself; a long shower, listen to music or book in the car. It is not selfish; it is necessary as you work to heal your grief.
  • Spend time with a trusted friend, even to sit quietly and share a cup of coffee and a story or two.
  • Walk for 10 minutes outside in the sunshine and warmth. Create space for some movement of any kind.
  • Remember to laugh, it releases endorphins and creates a sense of being alive. It is ok to be happy again, even for a short moment in time.
  • Spend time with a child and play. Being in the present is a positive process. Humans need to play.
  • Engage in a random act of kindness; doing something nice for others always feels positive.

When grieving, finding the new normal is difficult; it takes both time and energy. We cannot begin to rebuild our lives, parent our children, support our partners, work and manage it all without taking care of ourselves first.  Creating and investing in life can feel like learning to ride a bicycle all over again; it may take some patience and practice.  While you are moving forward slowly and gently life will rebalance.  Your life is forever changed, yet as time continues beautiful moments can be found along the way.

This Post Written By:
Caryn Kondo, MSW – Therapy With Heart
8737 E. Via De Commercio, Suite 200
Scottsdale, Arizona 85258
Phone: (480) 888-5380
Fax: (480) 203-2881