I Want Couples Therapy but my Partner Doesn’t!

It is not unusual for one partner to feel the need to go see a couples therapist and the other to resist. I get it! My husband and I took the Hold Me Tight Couples Workshop a few years ago and I definitely found myself initially saying, “No, we are fine. We don’t need it.” Meanwhile, we ended up having conversations we had never had in our 15 years together! It was powerful, and still helps us to this day.

If you are the one encouraging the two of you to seek support, here are some suggestions:

  1. Talk about your concerns in the relationship and why you feel it will be helpfulwhen you are NOT fighting.
  2. Do some research on therapists and find three to let him/her choose from. The person who is hesitant should choose.
  3. Ask your partner to try 3 sessions and then re-evaluate the decision. Couples can usually tell within the first session if they feel it’s a good fit with the therapist.
  4. Explore which option best fits you and your partner. Weekly Couples Therapy is only one option. A Couples Workshop might be a safe place to receiveeducation and assistance to start having a dialogue about the concerns you are having. Coming in for intensives also might be a better fit if you know schedules and logistics can be challenging and you would rather come in for blocks of time instead.
  5. Start therapy on your own if your partner still refuses. Change can occur even when only one attends.

Relationships can be challenging and I believe every relationship benefits from a third person helping to navigate the conversations when needed. Whether you prefer couples therapy, a workshop format, or an intensive session, please know I’m here as a resource for you.

This Post Written By:
Rachel Thomas, Owner, LMFT – Therapy With Heart
8737 E. Via De Commercio, Suite 200
Scottsdale, Arizona 85258
Phone: (480) 888-5380
Fax: (480) 203-2881
Email: Rachel@TherapyWithHeart.com
Website: https://therapywithheart.com

If you have any questions about Therapy With Heart’s services please contact us.


(480) 203-2881
8737 E. Via De Commercio, Suite 200 Scottsdale, Arizona 85258