I have a confession…I enjoy watching The Bachelor for pure entertainment. Although the quite ridiculous concept of one attractive man dating twenty-five beautiful women is fun to watch, there are actually some intense relationship dynamics that I can’t help but analyze! One thing I’ve noticed this season is the use of “I’m just being honest” as a way to avoid, defend, excuse, and in multiple interactions, hurt the other person.
Honesty is the best policy. I often tell clients that our goal is to open up honest dialogue, whether with a parent/child, husband/wife, or discussing conflict or other relationship challenges. That being said, honest dialogue needs some parameters for emotional safety.
- Be clear about your intention or purpose of sharing.
- Detach from the outcome. You can not control the other person’s response. You are attempting to share your own experience and feelings.
- Make sure the person you are wanting to talk to is open to have this conversation and find a good time for both of you (not when the kids are running around and the dog is barking, for example).
- Share your feelings and make it about you and your reactions versus an attack on the other for the “sake of being honest”.
- Reiterate that your goal is to create more closeness or positive interactions.
- Offer gratitude to the person for being available and responsive.
I hope you have great open and honest conversations!
If you know someone who can benefit from this blog, please share it and pass it along. If you’d like to learn more about Therapy with Heart and how we can help you achieve honest dialogue, contact us today!
This Post Written By:
Rachel Thomas, Owner, LMFT – Therapy With Heart
8737 E. Via De Commercio, Suite 200
Scottsdale, Arizona 85258
Phone: (480) 888-5380
Fax: (480) 203-2881
Email: Rachel@TherapyWithHeart.com
Website: https://therapywithheart.com
