One thing I’ve noticed over and over with clients: making progress can feel just as overwhelming as being in the depths of pain and emotion. I have experienced clients getting nervous and struggle with the idea of successfully graduating therapy. Couples might get re-activated in their old patterns of disconnect, despite movement towards healing and deeper connection. Or even personally as I strive to create positive changes in my life I can resist and pull back to old habits.
In fact, progress can be terrifying.
When you’ve lived with struggle for so long, it raises real questions:
Who am I without my diagnosis in the driver’s seat?
What if I can’t maintain this progress?
What if it all falls apart?
It’s not always comfortable to feel okay.
Sometimes anxiety creeps in, and progress feels fragile, like walking across thin ice. This is a vulnerable stage. You might even find yourself tempted to self-sabotage, slipping back into old “default” patterns simply because they feel more familiar and safe.
In relationships, this sensitivity can show up too. If you’re starting to build new trust and connection with your partner, even small moments of disconnection can feel extra painful because you’re risking more. You’re investing hope into something new, and that can be scary.
All of this is completely normal.
The first step is simply naming it and recognizing that feeling scared of progress doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re growing.
It’s okay to be okay.
And it’s important to ask yourself: What does being okay mean for me?
Here are some tools that can help when you find yourself in this place:
- Notice the nervousness. Ask yourself: Is this feeling new? Different? If so, what are the messages or beliefs coming up about your progress?
- Talk about it with your therapist. Bring your fears and the discomfort of change into the room. Processing it openly is part of solidifying your healing.
- Pause and breathe. Acknowledge yourself for the work you’ve done and for the uncertainty that naturally comes with stepping into new territory.
- Recognize the tools you’ve built. You have new resources to help you manage struggle. They brought you here and they’ll carry you forward.
Remember:
You are okay, no matter where you are in your healing journey
It’s okay to not be okay.
And it’s also absolutely okay to be okay.