It’s a well known fact in my family that my humor is a bit off. When I think something is hilarious, it often doesn’t translate that way for everyone else.
For example, we were at dinner the other night and I was talking and talking and realized that my husband and my kids were looking at me with blank looks on their faces, half listening to me go on and on.
I burst out laughing and couldn’t stop and when I told them why I thought it was funny, no one laughed. Unfortunately, this is not an unusual occurrence in my family.
This interaction made me think about humor and how some of my most intense therapy sessions can have some laughter and levity in them at times. I came to the conclusion that humor can truly help create connection, vulnerability, and closeness but if used inappropriately or insensitively can absolutely create the opposite result.
Using Humor
Being that my sense of humor doesn’t always translate, here are some pointers I have learned to consider in my use of humor in creating connection with others:
- Be respectful in your banter. Teasing rarely translates as funny to the other person.
- You must feel a secure and safe connection to the other person if you’re attempting to be humorous about them or a situation you’re both experiencing. If not, the sensitivity increases and the humor can land on the partner as hurtful.
- Consider whether what you’re about to say is going to be seen as humorous to others. There are times when I clearly know that we will all get a good laugh out of something and times when that’s definitely not the case. One can typically decipher the response if we slow down and consider it first.
- Laugh at yourself in an open, humble, yet confident way.
- Allow yourself to smile, find some positivity, and give yourself permission to laugh.
Sarcasm, teasing, and covert humor doesn’t create that feel good emotion that true humor, laughter, and smiling can create. Heightened awareness will help you know the difference. Imagine if we were all able to lighten up and not take ourselves so seriously. Imagine if there were more smiles and laughter in your day, how nice that would be. Now go find something funny to share with your loved ones and laugh out loud (LOL) about it! See what I mean about my humor?! 😉
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This Post Written By:
Rachel Thomas, Owner, LMFT – Therapy With Heart
8737 E. Via De Commercio, Suite 200
Scottsdale, Arizona 85258
Phone: (480) 888-5380
Fax: (480) 203-2881
Email: Rachel@TherapyWithHeart.com
Website: https://therapywithheart.com
